Being Analytical

So, I have a friend that is awesome! He knows a TON about music, much more than I do. I think that is about the coolest thing about him, he can tell you all about different songs, I can't do that. BUT I am a poet, I can paint you a picture with my words, which is odd. It takes me a LONG time to decipher a song, and yet I can tell you what a poem means after reading it twice. Even odder, most of the time, I can sing along the second or third time that I have heard a song, but ask me to recite a poem and my mind goes blank.

No worries though. I have it all figured out. I can be the writer, with my imagery in my head. I will think of ways to hide the meaning. Instead of pronouncing my feelings or the idea so that it is clear, I will find a way to hide the messages! HHAA! I'll maketh him guess!!

I just think it would be fun to hide the meaning for once. Mom said I needed counseling last night after she read one of my old poems. She thought I was depressed when I wrote it, I was just as happy as could be when I did. I can just paint an image with my words, not to toot my own horn, but I just realized how good I am.

I have not ever thought I was any good until recently. I showed a poem to several of my 'online friends' and one of them said "Tragic.....and it somehow draws you into the pain...nicely done."

That may not seem like much to many of you all, but that just struck me. I apparently have more talent than I let myself think. Now I just need to be able to hide myself in a piece. Hmmmm.....ideas?? Leave some comments!!

My Personal Haunting

I can still feel your arms around me,

but I know you are not there.

I can still smell your scent,

but I still know you are not there.

I can still hear your voice saying my name,

i know you are not there.

Oh, how your memory haunts me.

I can still taste your kiss on my lips,

but I know you are not there.

I can even still see you there in the bed,

but I know you are not there.

You are still lingering about, everywhere,

But i know you are Not there!

Your memory haunts me, heart and soul.

I miss it, all of it, but please, let me go.

I am in agony, torn between present and past

Who I am, is drifting away fast.

I try to let you go, but I can't.

You are here, haunting me.

I feel like I am holding on to a dream,

a fantasy, my perfect fairy tale.

I can't have it though, your grip is too strong.

Please, I want freedom again, please let me go.

I am begging you, your memory is like a

chain and ball. I try to escape, but again I fall.

I remember the fire in your touch,

the electricity in your sweet embrace.

I remember the comforting fragrance of your skin,

the smell of your shirt, as I rest on your chest again.

I remember that voice, soft and smooth as you sang for me,

as you whispered how you missed me.

I remember the taste of your kiss, lingering on my lips.

That precious, spontaneous first kiss.

I remember you on the couch, sitting there as

you held me, and I held you close.

I am torn, even more. I can't let go and I want to move on.

Your memory captivates me, I can't get away from you.

I don't know what I should do.

Your memory is haunting me,

I need some light to lift the darkness.

This place terrifies me,

I am alone with my memories. I miss you,

and I love you, but if you have one shred

of love left for me, please let me go.

Let me move on, I do not want to forget,

I just want to move on.

Please let me go.

Please...

You Are...

When I wake in the mornings, it is you I want to see.

I love you with every ounce of my soul.

You are my best friend, my forever lover, my reason for life.

You are my muse, my movie, my playmate, you are my all.

I say this to you because I want to spend my life in your arms.

You are my Romeo, my Oberon, and my Music of the Night.

You are my Angel, my shining star, and my Endless Sunlight.

Oh, how I love you, how I want you here with me.

You could be the King, and I shall be your Queen,

We could live in a far off castle, come, fly away with me.

Oh, my love, please hear me through,

I am nothing but lost without you.

I love you so much that it hurts sometimes.

You are my library, my favorite book.

Love is our recipe, we are the cooks.

Never leave me, always love me, this is all I ask,

I don't know how I will live if our love does not last.

I love you with all my heart, and from you, I shall never part.

Stay here with me, Completely here with me, Love me, Choose me.

Let life be the canvas, and love be the paint, we will be the masters,

the artists until we grow faint.

Come away with me my love, oh please come away.

If you can't see what I have said thus far,

Then come with me, I will show you who you are.

Lonliness

I hear a beckoning, something calls my name. I dont know what it is, yet. It is cold, and sad. Its lonliness. It takes a hold of my heart and squeezes it. This bitter lonliness has talons like an eagle and a voice like the thunder. Yelling, mocking me. It rips and tears, it makes fun of my pain. I am in love but it is not returned, the loliness still wins.

I pour my heart out on his lap, I thought he would recieve it. I was wrong, he just looks at it and says nothing. His gaze is empty, the lonliness calls me. Empty words just push my love aside, pushes my heart off onto the floor. Lonliness calls again. His thundering voice booms loud in my soul. I am left alone with out returned love.

Pain, searing pain. There is no relief for me. What once was everything, was now nothing. A broken heart left for the vultures to clean up. Lies, deception, broken promises, empty words. Is there anyone to clean up this mess that is me? Must I pick up the pieces of me myself? The darkness of unreturned love falls heavy and fast. There is no escape

My life will be a lonly one until someone helps me piece it back together. I will stay in the dark with lonliness, alone, hurt and broken.